Kates lesbian open diary

1/1/2009
So, the beginning of a new year and I spent it with an old love. Pat called me out of the blue yesterday and said she would like to catch up. This is a woman who walked out of my life about eight years ago because she had “issues” and she needed time. Initially my heart wrapped itself in some protective coating and I thought about saying, “No, thanks. I have plans.” Then I remembered I’m fifty and fifty-year-olds don’t do that kind of crap so I said, “Uh, okay.” We actually had a very pleasant evening together. We pretended we were old friends. We never broached the subject of my broken heart or her need to leave. We just started our catching up three years after those facts. And it worked. I guess you don’t need to verbalize everything on your mind. At least not all at once. In a month she is moving back to DC to start her new job…a political post. She asked if she could stay with me until she got her feet wet. And I said, of course, “Uh, okay.”

1/15/2009
I have woken up in a cold sweat for the last two weeks, thinking about letting Pat stay. Am I out of my mind or have I matured to the point were I can handle this. And shouldn’t I know the answer to that question?

1/16/2009
Well, I am about to rid myself of the stigma of having turned fifty by turning 51. The best way of getting over any significant mile marker is to go on to the next one. And so I will. It turns out for me that being fifty sucked. But in truth, it wasn’t because of the age it was because my life is going no where exciting and the age makes that even more poignant. For my birthday I am going out with Mickey and he promised something very “daring.” I can’t wait!

1/18/2009
I’m beginning to catch Obama fever and it is sweet. I realize that what I am most excited about is his ability to assimilate disparate information or opinions and come up with a plan. I know I won’t always like it, but I will trust that he has thought it out and concluded it is what he thinks is best for the country. I don’t worry that if he says, “We need to build another 100 coal factories,” that he is doing it because he has ownership in a coal factory. I believe he would say that because he believes that what we need to do now and although I would hate the idea of another coal power plant, I would trust his motives to be pure. Isn’t that what a leader is all about? A person with a mind. I don’t know how we got so greedy in our politics and our lives, but I hope we can see past those motivations into something a little more productive.

1/30/2009
Very daring turned out to be a fashion show. Actually, more of a drag show with really spectacular costumes. What is it about beautiful small boned men that makes me want to gawk? Had they been women it would have been boring, but these guys were wonderful—full of love and laughter. We had a great evening and for my present, I had a choice between a night with “willing woman” (interesting way of putting it) or a weekend cruise to the Bahamas with Mickey. I’ll let you know what I decide.